Getting Mr. Perfect On My Terms???
First off, every single comment on the last post made me think and I am so happy you guys gave me your true opinions and insights. I hate to be a sap but I love you guys and how you look out for me.
However, I am headed home tomorrow and still really torn.
I didn't want to keep Nick waiting for a response though, so I emailed him back a few days ago and told him that I had "a lot planned" for my trip home and would call him if my schedule allows time for us to meet up.
Before you even say it, I will admit- YES IT WAS A COP-OUT.
I couldn't make myself give a resounding yes or a flat-out NO so this is where it stands for now.
He responded back with his new cell phone number and said that if I needed him to pick me up, he definitely would.
(FYI- Nick lives about an hour and a half away from the city where most of my family lives.)
See...he is so ACCOMMODATING! That is what makes this hard.
I did have an epiphany last night though...lemme give some background first.
OK, so I originally met Nick via my aunt who has been good friends with his mother for 20+ years. My aunt loves him like a son and his mom came to adore me in a very sweet way when we dated...
Anyway, whenever I'm back East I spend most of my time at my aunt's place because we are extremely close, she is in a central location to both sides of my family, and she has a huge house with tons of space including a loft that I use with it's own living room, bedroom, bathroom, etc.
So, what IF I have Nick come to meet me at her place and not allow him to remove me from the premises?
LMAO I know that last part sounds fucking crazy but I am dead serious. At least that would alleviate the sexual urge because there is no way I'd ever have sex in my aunt's home.
And, if you've followed me for a while on the other blogs, you know how I am with control. I MUST HAVE IT AT ALL TIMES.
The way I see it, this would give me the control I need and would at least give us a chance to catch up with one another and talk. I can't lie, I would love to see him and know how he's been doing.
What do you guys think?
That option feels MORE safe to me...but still not completely safe in the fact that seeing him again is going to drudge up old feelings and the "out of sight, out of mind" tactic has been working pretty well for me. In that regard, seeing him may still not be a good idea.
I don't know though, I'm a strong girl. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit...?
Mahogany Misfit - Monday, May 4, 2009 at 03:20PM - 9 said something... - filed under Life Issues Email Article 
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Reader Comments (9)
A controlled environment is the best idea!!!
I bet he won't even protest, like you said he is accomodating and he is the one who requested to see you. I def think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. It comes across in your blog. You are no shrinking violet babydoll.
I am confident you can handle this and not fall apart after one night of eye-gazing and chatter with Nick...even if he is Mr. Perfect Black Man USA, you're still you and you are self-aware and fab :-)
I totally agree with Kellina. I think that you are handling it the best way too "the let's wait and see" option is excellent. You may get there and not want to be bothered, but then again you may. So see how you feel that morning, make sure that your aunt or someone else will be in the house and tell him to come on down. BUT ONLY if you feel comfortable with it that day.
Travel safe and have fun otherwise
*lol* control freak
Listen, there's no harm in seeing this guy. You have to admit in some ways you are building this up in your head and now its becoming overwhelming. See the dude, he sounds cool. It doesn't hurt to hang out in a controlled situation *grin*
Good advice given by others here! By doing the above, (meeting at Aunt's house and not going out with him...as much as you can help it!), you are not only controlling the sitch, but you are also protecting your heart from sinking into the pitfallt!
Most importantly, just have fun and relax on your trip! (and yes, come back to blog with all the details!) :)
~V~
See, you want to see him b/c you came up with the idea of a controlled enviroment. lol I like the idea.
Excellent compromise.that will probably work............. Good luck n enjoy your trip back East....
LOL...u know u want that good Nick lovin'. I don't think you will last in his presence for more than an hour or two before you guys leave the 'controlled' environment for an uncontrolled...*cough* activity;)
I'm sure whichever way you handle it, you will still have some control. I'm all for Team Nick!
I agree with the other posters. See how you feel when get there and a controlled environment is best if you think you may get a little weak.
I also think that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. The situation will end up just as you want it to...whatever that is.
Let me say this. Where are you going to find another Nick? And if you do not see him when you get home you are going to reget it.. You have nothing to lose. And there is a reason why this man wants to see you after you broke up with him.